“How Far is too Far?”

“How far is too far?” That’s one of the most commonly asked questions by Christian and Catholic teens. Recently, I found one of the most interesting answers to this troubling question in the book Kissed the Girls and Made Them Cry by Lisa Bevere (2002, Thomas Nelson Publishers). This is a book to help women reclaim the femininity this sex-saturated world has stolen from them, and describes how to hold out for God’s best by living a pure lifestyle. When Mrs. Bevere was going to speak to some of her congregation’s youth-aged girls, she knew that they’d ask her “How far is too far?” She didn’t know what to say–but the Holy Spirit sure did!

“Tell them they can go as far with their boyfriends as they are comfortable doing in front of their fathers. For fathers are the protector and guardian of the virtue for daughters.” (p.5)

This statement stuck in my mind as I read the book. As Mrs. Bevere said, usually the sexual actions that people do are done in the dark, out of sight of others. This statement could apply to guys too. How far would you go in front of your mothers, or your dates’ mothers? Would we “make out” in front of our parents? No. Any type of physical contact would most likely be kept as brief as possible. I also want to add this: if, for some reason, your parents would be permissive of sexual activity outside of marriage, think of how far you would go in front of Jesus or the Blessed Virgin Mary. They are our highest models of purity, and will also help us to maintain God’s standards of chastity, especially if we pray for their help daily and in times of temptation. I think in order to protect our purity, these thoughts mentioned above should be kept in our mind. It would prevent us from committing serious sins. It would keep us from going “too far.”

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