20 Tips for Ignoring What’s Really Happening When You Get an Abortion

Earlier this month, the website Paper Darts posted an article entitled 20 Tips for Your First Abortion, and they were, predictably, horrendous.

But perhaps most disturbing, many of the tips counsel the abortion-bound mother to at all costs ignore the reality of her pregnancy and what the abortion procedure will do to her unborn child.

From the very first tip, the woman is encouraged to ignore the circumstances of her pregnancy. She’s then told to tell someone “who will support you.” Options include, bizarrely, telling your cat.

She’s also told to “Avoid any website that uses the word ‘life.’ They will not help you. Also avoid all images. All of them. Even if it promises to be a cartoon drawing called ‘Olivia the Ovary.’ They will not help you either.”—a striking testimony to the power of abortion victim photos and the help and real information provided by pro-life websites.

Next, you’re to make your appointment and ignore the callousness of abortion clinic staffers. Telling that this trope is so common that it made the list. And then, once the appointment is made, drink heavily, because that’s what you usually need to do once you’ve made a good decision.

Further down the list, the abortion-bound mom is told to stick her head in the sand yet again, “Technology that tells you exactly how far along you are now exists. And it is terrible. You want to be zero days along, negative days along, but listen when the nurse says, ‘six weeks and five days.’ Don’t dwell on this number.”

In step 16, more focusing on anything but what’s actually happening as your child is torn limb from limb, “Tell the doctor where you work. Redefine the meaning of small talk. Listen to her as she raves about the new Vietnamese sub shop off Grand. Watch her nod at the nurses. Let her rub your arm and tell you it’s all done.”

Step 18, after your child is dead, “In the next room, listen to the instructions from the nurse with the soothing Caribbean accent. Assume she is in this room because of that nice accent. Eat the animal crackers. Drink the apple juice. Realize the tears were about hormones and relief. Breathe deeply.”

And finally, once you’ve left the clinic:

20. Go home. Relax. Eat a big meal. Process your emotions. Take a shower. Talk with your friends. Cry with your friends. Make inappropriate jokes about how you were “killin’ it” today and laugh with your friends. Eat a pound of chocolate. Listen to some Bon Iver. Take aspirin. Listen to some ABBA. Dance with Miss Poke. Watch a movie. Take your antibiotics. Buy a new dress off Zappos. Use a heating pad. Call your mom. Reread a book from your teenage years. Do whatever you want. Maybe make a list of all the things you learned.

Laugh, shop, cry, eat, anything but take seriously the life within you that was just destroyed.

How to Respond to a Horrifying List

There’s so much about this list that’s horrifying to anyone who can look soberly at what abortion really is, it’s almost hard to take in. Obviously, the piece is meant to be darkly comedic, but it can only succeed there for people who have bought the lies and euphemisms of the abortion industry.

But the more I’ve thought about the piece, the more I realized how much the author must be hurting. If she’s compiling this list (under the pseudonym “Madeleine Roe”), it’s very likely she’s been through an abortion herself, and now she’s living with the aftermath of that decision.

She sees her abortion decision as necessary, because the alternative is that she’s done something unthinkable. In advising the abortion-bound mother to avoid all facts, drink heavily, focus on every mundane detail but the life of her child, to keep herself occupied afterward, Madeleine is simply giving her the tools to cope with a decision she’s been told is a terrible, but unavoidable choice.

This is the pain that over 3,000 women every day subject themselves to. This is the regret that makes it so hard for many people to see the truth about abortion, even when they see the photos of the victims.

And this is why it’s so important that we reach women facing the choice to abort their child before they become pregnant. It’s crucial that we share the pro-life message, share the facts, share the pictures, share the pain women experience after abortion so that no young woman has to rely on Madeleine’s 20 tips.

Please keep Madeleine and all women facing abortion or dealing with its aftermath in your prayers.

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