I recently came across a section titled “Bad Advice” on the Modesty Zone website. (Modesty Zone is the host of the ever insightful blog Modestly Yours). One feature, titled “Do Whatever the Man Wants”, encapsulates why How-To-Get-Used-by-A-Man-Instruction-Manuals like Cosmo, Glamour, and Marie Claire aren’t worth the perfume scented glossy paper they’re printed on:
I’ve been carrying around this clipping from my friend’s Cosmo for a few months now, it’s from their ASK HIM ANYTHING column: Q. I’ve been with this guy for two months, and we’re really into each other. There’s one problem, though: He keeps pressuring me to have sex with him, but I’m not ready. I want to wait six months to make sure it’s right. Unfortunately, my man thinks that’s ridiculous and is getting annoyed, but I’m not about to change my rules. If he liked me enough, wouldn’t he be patient? A. Let me make sure I read that correctly. You want him to hold out for six months? You’ve heard of dog years, right? Well, there’s also such a thing as guy yearsâ€”and six months of waiting for sex feels like two years to him. See, a guy needs sex as part of a balanced man-diet. He needs it like he needs calcium, iron, and buffalo wings. If a man isn’t getting his nutrients, he turns into a cranky, whiny baby. And do you really want that disaster on your hands? As long as you don’t have any issue with premarital sex, I suggest you bump up that due date. After all, you say you’re really into him, and it’s already been two agonizing monthsâ€”so what exactly are you waiting for? I mean, what are you going to learn about this dude in four months that you don’t know by now?
This reminds me of a bit of related advice I once found in the course of researching various contraceptives. One particular site that sold birth control pills online listed a woman’s various “birth control choices”. Here’s what it said about abstinence:
Abstinence: This method is 100% reliable because when you refrain from sex, you cannot get pregnant. It also protects from sexually transmitted diseases and HIV/AIDS. The biggest drawback is that your partner might not agree to refrain from sex [emphasis added].
The implication is clear: In this case, ladies, you’re outta luck, and since your partner won’t agree to refrain from sex, you’ll just have to do it anyway. Because, you know, a man needs sex “like he needs calcium, iron, and buffalo wings,” and if he isn’t “getting” sex, “he turns into a cranky, whiny baby.” Just inches away from the site’s not-so-ringing endorsement of abstinence is a graphic that reads, “Ortho-Tri-Cyclen, $95.00, Order Now”. It’s bad enough that the contraceptive mentality is so deeply embedded in our culture, and worse still that industries make money hand over fist peddling it. Which leads me to a third bit of bad advice: the notion that parents should have their daughters–as young as 9 years old–receive the recently approved Gardasil vaccine. (Indeed, many expect a CDC panel to recommend that states make the vaccinations mandatory.) The president of Human Life International, Father Tom Euteneuer, has recently been speaking out against the HPV vaccine in no uncertain terms:
First, what protection will women have from the other thirty STDs that don’t have vaccines and any one or more of which may be communicated in the very same HPV-protected act? Is every child to be pumped with thirty vaccines to “protect” them from all disease? Even if this were possible does our already sexually-debased society need this further degradation of human sexuality? If it is not possible, then why are we pretending that this vaccine makes people “safe”? The total climate of transmission is still toxic even if this vaccine effectively protects from one disease. Second, what happens when/if the vaccine fails? We don’t know if this vaccine will do what it purports to do. Because of the nature of inoculating any population, it will take thirty years to find it out if it actually works. If the vaccine eventually failsâ€”like the condomâ€”should we say that it makes women “safer” from HPV? In the meantime Merck stands to make billions with this new regimen to replace the billions lost by their Vioxx fiasco. Are we to trust the makers of Vioxx? Also, did Merck tell you that your kids will need three injections to receive this vaccine and that they’ll need boosters in the future? I didn’t think so.
This from a pious and holy priest who is a former Marine, and who has written about his experiences as an exorcist — in short, a man who knows a thing or two about spiritual warfare. And exactly the type of person to look to for some uncommonly good advice.